| Hello again LiveJournal |
[Mar. 28th, 2008|02:20 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bass Hall, Smith College | ] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  Thinking things through... | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | The heating system and keyboard... | ] |
So yeah...It's interesting when you have to do a few password tries because you can't remember what your password is because it has been so damned long since being on a site, i.e. LJ.
What can I say...I am at Smith, doing my thing, holding my family together (in my mind anyway...it's all kinds of fucked up right about now....). My birthday is on Sunday, so that should be fun, but who knows, I usually get weird and bummed out on my birthdays anyway...
Yeah...So far things are playing out, partially as expected, and some things couldn't have been foreseen. But in the end, everything that has been happening in my life, and in the lives of the people I have been talking to, I have foreseen to some degree.
Everything just got a lot clearer...
Be back in a year or so... |
|
|
| A good day... |
[Feb. 12th, 2007|08:15 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Smith Dorm | ] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | Promiscuous Girl | ] |
Wow, so I am actually updating. But I have good reason to be doing so.
It was my first riding lesson of the semester and it was amazing. Everything went so well. The horse I was riding was one of my favorites, and we were really doing well. Towards the end the instructor asked me to canter, and I was like ugh, because last semester it just wasn't happening. I wasn't getting it or the horse wasn't feeling it, so it's just not my favorite thing.
But today, either something clicked or a really good rider's spirit possessed me, because in a simple movement the horse just cantered. Everyone else in the class thought I looked like a professional. I did a beautiful circle and only had a few minor problems. It was out of this world. I was so in awe I nearly lost all of it because it was been so long since I had done that, and it was perfect. I have to thank Huey, because he was so good today and since he does most of the work anyway.
Just had to say that, because I am really proud and it was really good. Makes me look forward to the semester.
Peace...Probably no updates for a while. |
|
|
| Long ass time |
[Oct. 28th, 2006|09:32 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  Too much HW | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | NPR | ] |
So it has been a really long time since I have posted here.
I am now at Smith College, loving it but hating it....Oh well, I guess that's college.
Don't really have time to write this.
Ciao |
|
|
| Summer days |
[Jun. 30th, 2006|04:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  Sad to leave... | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | None....Dammit! | ] |
So today I spent the day with Yanira, Mima, and Marx. It was fun. We went to the Bronx Zoo, and I haven't been there in forever. I am going to miss them so much.
Montana tomorrow!!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!
And yet, I am kind of sad. I didn't get to see or say good-bye to all the people I wanted to see. I hate this. When I am here I want Montana, and when I am there I was New York. Fucking crap. There are a lot of people I am going to miss, and a lot of people I will never see again except on Face Book. I am making it solely to stay in touch with all my friends.
Anyway, I have to pack, clean my room, wash, sew, and set up a printer.
Peace out. |
|
|
| Over and done with! |
[Jun. 22nd, 2006|10:44 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  NO MORE SCHOOL! | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | A/C (and thank god, it's been so hot here) | ] |
NO MORE HIGHSCHOOL! EVER!!! EEEVVVVVEEEERRRRRRR!!!! This is the shit, the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. No more of that particular kind of bureaucratic bullshit, rude security guards, retarded underclassmen (since I am one now, once again), or stupid rules. It's even better because next year my high school has a dress code, which is really a uniform. Woot!
So now it's regents week, and my regents was today, but I didn't need it so I didn't take it. They are bs after all, completely unnecessary for college. I'm chilling, hanging out with friends, sleeping, and eating. I'm probably going to get fat, but I plan to move around this summer and try to stay/further get in shape. It will be a bitch going back to softball if I am out of it.
As happy as I am, it feels weird not having school. Since this is technically a regents week, I feel like there is homework that I am putting off, and that school isn't really over. Which is a sucky, weird feeling and I don't like it. But at least it really is over, and there is no assignment.
I have to start reading more. I have a huge reading list, and I need to get some done. The book I have to read for Smith sounds retarded and uninteresting. And I know it will be tough getting it done, because I will be side-tracked by Montana. Have to focus.
Anyway, I have to wake Audrey up and get ready for the day. There are also a ton of people I have to call, so I can see them before I leave for Montana. My last chance to see them I guess, which kind of sucks. Peace out. |
|
|
| To catch up... |
[Jun. 10th, 2006|08:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  FUCK BITCHES!!! | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | TV | ] |
It's been a long while, just over a month since I have updated. Here are the biggest events.
The softball team was undefeated this season, the first time ever. And we went to the quarter finals, the first time ever. Ever = in the softball team's history.
I won the scholar-athlete award. Got $2000 and was on TV. Pretty weird.
I am cutting off here. I am in a really bad mood. |
|
|
| The end is nigh... |
[May. 6th, 2006|01:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My house | ] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  Chillin. | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | TV and birds chirping | ] |
So I took my AP Lit. test on Thursday, and my AP US Hist. test Friday. I no longer have any serious classes. I don't count physics because it doesn't matter. And then I have art. This is the shit...
It's good to know that I won't have so much homework and that I can get some of my own things done. Woo hoo!
I am going to Smith, for those who don't know. Yeah...So that's it.
So the end is nigh. I am both sad and happy. Need to find a prom dress.
Softball has been going well. I got nominated for a scholar-athlete scholarship, so let's see if I get that.
Later all. |
|
|
| Funny how things work out... |
[Apr. 17th, 2006|05:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Hotel in Portland | ] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| | Grumble grumble... | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | Dad talking and birds chirping | ] |
I love how being tagged is getting me to update, though far more important things have been going on in my life recently. I'll update the important things first, then do the tags. I don't know who to tag though...
-So this past week I have been on the west coast, checking out colleges. I actually just saw Lewis and Clark (and I get to see Brenna later, woot!). My dad, Audrey, and myself saw Occidental, Santa Barbara, and L&C. Now I have to make a decision. Great. I don't want to talk about...Not now, not ever. I'd rather crawl in a hole and sleep. May 1st is too short of notice to make a life altering decision such as this....UGH.
-I get to see Martin on Wed. That's like two days away. AWESOME AWESOME AND AWESOME. Thank god I'm on break. Wouldn't be able to see him otherwise, and that would be sad. YAY! Still have softball, which makes it awkward...We'll see how that goes.
-Softball...Going well. Eh.....
-Just lost one of my contacts, making the other one pointless, and since I didn't bring my glasses, I am pretty blind. Sucks...but at least I am seeing the eye doctor when I get back, and I think it was time to get new ones any way.
-The AP tests are really soon. I really want high scores, so I have been studying my ass off (sort of). I want to get rid of as much history and english as I can, so I never have to take it again. So, fingers crossed.
Anywho, 6 random facts about me:
1. I hate being around people. I have a few close friends, but that's about it. I hate people so much, I don't even call delivery people to order food...Yeah...
2. I want to work in a tattoo parlor as a piercer and maybe do tattoos, and I already design tattoos for friends.
3. I find geography to be one of the most important things one should learn, and I hate that no one is taught it in school past 5th grade, and even then it is only America, so no one knows where anything is.
4. I am a nympho. Pretty simple.
5. I want to become president. And if I do say so myself, I think I could run things quite nicely give some of the pie to everyone.
6. When I retire, I want to have made enough money to have a large area of land to care for all abandoned, old, and abused animals, so they can live out their lives with some knowledge of happiness. Fuck humans and their ideas of domination (I told you I hated people...)
So yeah, I guess those 6 work. I couldn't think of much....I tag Summer, Brendan, and Addie...I can't think of anyone else.
Later people. I probably won't update for a long time...Probably once I know where I want to go to college...So a few weeks. Ciao. |
|
|
| Long time, no update... |
[Mar. 31st, 2006|10:46 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| | Must sleep. | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | Titanic on TV | ] |
So some recent things in my life:
- I turned 18 on March 30th. Holy Shit. My birthday was uneventful and not so great, but whatever. I don't like celebrating being one year closer to death and I hate being doted on, so it just wasn't that great. But we won our game that day. And I can now do many things that I couldn't do before, like buy cigarettes and get a tattoo. Word.
- Softball is going well, despite the fact that my best friend quit. If she had been at the game today, just stayed one more week and not quit on a whim, then maybe she would realize her mistake. But oh well.
- I have gotten into: Santa Barbara, Smith, Lewis & Clark, Brandeis, Occidental, Stonybrook, SUNY ESF, WWU, and Puget Sound. Wait listed at: Wellesley, Mt. Holyoke, and Pitzer. Still haven't heard from Pomona. So far I am between Lewis & Clark, Smith, Occidental and Santa Barbara. During spring break I am going out west to LA and then to Portland to visit so I can make my final decisions. Ugh....And dad better hurry up with his tax returns.
- AP tests are coming soon. How wonderfully not wonderful and a $164 for no real reason.
I am still tired of school. Four years is unnecessary. Sophomore year is a complete waste of time, and should be deleted. I can't wait until its over.
Anyway, later all. |
|
|
| Miffle.... |
[Mar. 12th, 2006|11:47 am] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  Ugh... | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | Hendrix Biography on TV | ] |
I am so tired of school...Every weekend feels like a vacation. A short one, no doubt, but one where I don't care about the fact that I will have school on Monday. It kind of nice being so laid back about it. Weekends are good. Hopefully next weekend I can start riding lessons in Van Cortland Park. I really want that to work out.
I really hope I can get my apprenticeship at Painless Steel this summer. And a job at a stable as a groom or something. If this somehow works out that would be awesome. But there are probably going to be invisible forces working against me. Oh well...
I drew a very awesome tattoo meant for the back. They look like wings in a sense. Either way they are fucking awesome considering they nearly symmetrical and completely free hand. I am quite proud, needless to say...
The softball games start this week. A mixture of not being able to wait and of wanting to delay it has filled me. Ugh. Sometimes I want to play and sometimes I don't, and I always dislike games before they start.
Later all. |
|
|
| Long needed update... |
[Mar. 6th, 2006|10:23 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| | WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE! | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | Prince - When Doves Cry | ] |
First off, Happy Birthday Brendan.
Martin is coming to visit!!!! He will be here for my spring break. It is absolutely wonderful and I am excited because that will be in almost a month. This has made my life so much better because I am sick of being here. He will meet Boo (a world event), see museums and see the big city. Kind of weird picturing Martin here, but very cool. It will be good. Splits up the time until summer nicely.
Apparently it finally clicked in mom's head that no one wanted to go to Europe at this time. So she is moving her stuff from New York out to Montana with my dad this summer, in a UHAUL. So while they drive to Montana, I will be there chilling and happy. It will rock the socks of all. (Or at least me.)
The minute I am here, I hate it and want to be in Montana. When I am in Montana, I think about New York. Gotta love it.
Brokeback Mountain should have won Best Picture. That's all I am saying.
Laters. |
|
|
| Leaving on a jet plane... |
[Feb. 25th, 2006|12:39 am] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| | Sad Times... | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | TV playing Unleashed | ] |
Tonight is the last night in Missoula until the summer. Unless mom drags us to London. That would be nice, but it would be too expensive because the pound sterling is kicking the dollar's ass. It works out for her because she doesn't have anything to look forward to. She will simply go to London and then go to Montana.
I will have a college orientation at whatever college I choose to go to. I had planned on staying in NY for a few extra days to say good bye and hang out with my friends for the last time. Then I wanted to go to Missouri for a week to see everyone I hadn't seen in a year. Then I was going to stay in Montana, get a job somewhere and also apprentice at Painless Steel.
We'll see what happens.
Anyway, I am pretty depressed. Tonight I saw Summer, typed her resume and saw people. I might see her again to say goodbye. I had a wonderful dinner with Martin, and cried a little afterward. Now it is Kung Fu movie time at Luke and Beth's. It will be fun. Jet Li is the shit. Hopefully I will see Sarah, and then spend the rest of the night in Martin's arms. It will be a while before any of the fun happens again.
Well....'Til the summer then. |
|
|
| In Montana |
[Feb. 18th, 2006|01:45 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| | Happy happy | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | Video games... | ] |
So as the title says, I am in Montana. So far it has been wonderful. It is great to see everybody and hang out. I love mid-winter break.
The only thing that sucks is that I have a ton of homework to do. I have to outline 6 chapters for history, and read the Canterbury Tales (well only two of them, but still). It's a lot, and the history is really, really boring. Ugh.
Tonight Audrey, Sean, and Martin are going to Spokane. So I am going to hang out with -insert name here-. It'll be good.
As Audrey says, I want to see people I haven't seen yet. So call us or someone who would be around us.
Ciao. |
|
|
| ajfiwfskdncjkwsef |
[Feb. 12th, 2006|12:10 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| | Mixed... | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | TV...Sounds like the people are in water. | ] |
I love it when you fall asleep, have wonderful dreams, and then wake up to find a shit ton of snow outside your window. It's snowing like there's no tomorrow. So far the only downside is that my godmother's plane was canceled. Hopefully the snow won't last (which it probably won't since NY streets generate so much heat), and we can fly out on time on Friday. That would suck ass if we couldn't.
School won't be canceled tomorrow, naturally. They don't do that here, because we have a subway and bus system that can get through hell (and in this case, snow). It's a nice thing to fantasize about. I don't want to go to school tomorrow because all the dumbasses will be outside throwing snowballs...Though I might miss it because I get there early and then leave late because of softball. Either way, snow or no snow, I don't want to go to school.
I have so much crap to do before we leave Friday. I have to take a history test early (though I don't mind because history is somewhat interesting now). I have a trip on Tuesday, so I am missing school then. I am skipping physics lab on Wednesday so I get my legs waxed (first time, a little scary, hella painful). My excuse for her is that I was sick, and for my parents that I was taking a friend to Planned Parenthood. Thursday I have to get all my break assignments, hopefully do some when I get home, and then pack for the trip. Friday I am home free, though sitting on my ass for so long is going to blow...The rewards will be worth it.
I can't wait to be out there. I can't wait to hang out with people I love. I really can't wait to have sex (I say this loud and proud pretty much every day, much to the humor or disgust of the people in my school...I don't understand the taboo about it any more).
It will be a good short week, with a good long break (especially since it is the last one before the long span between now and spring break...Ughh).
Later all. |
|
|
| Crappy Days |
[Feb. 4th, 2006|09:19 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| | FUCK THE SYSTEM! | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | Nada | ] |
I hate school. I hate my program. Senioritis is fucking me over. I don't want to be there at all, and yet I am stuck there for every period of the day. Freshmen and sophomores are getting out earlier than I am. It sucks ass. It would be ok if I was allowed to leave when I don't have a class, but I have to stay there. So 3rd, 4th, and 5th, I sit in school, doing nothing. I can't do homework because all my important classes are at the end of the day. It's such bullshit. Why did physics lab have to be put 10th period? The teacher comes in 3rd period, but doesn't teach until 5th. It could have been 3rd period. But no, it actually couldn't have been, because my school is filled with dumbasses.
I hate the security guards, I hate the office people, I hate a few of the assistant principles, and I really fucking hate the principle. If one of them talks to me, I keep walking. And sometimes I have days where if the wrong person were to talk to me at the wrong time, I would attack them. And I might even kill a freshman.
I got into Stony Brook. Woo hoo. I really don't care. It was a safety any way. Apparently it has to be third on my list, instead of Lewis and Clark because Lewis and Clark doesn't have as good a reputation. Fuck my godfather.
Apparently I need a wardrobe change before I go to college, because I wear too many baggy t-shirts. Maybe I just don't give a shit about what I wear. My godmother thinks I should start wearing classier looking clothes and that I wear baggy t-shirts because I don't think I'm beautiful. Maybe I just don't like having guys stare at my breasts all the time when I wear a smaller t-shirt. That can't be it. I must just not think I am beautiful or good looking. Granted, I don't have the greatest self-esteem, but that's for other reasons.
Oh and according to her I won't get into Smith. Any small college is a long shot, but yeah, I love having the fact that I might not get in rubbed in my face.
Only when high school is over and I never have to go back into that fucking building will I be happy again. I think I am going to set some part of it on fire.
Later... |
|
|
| A good week. |
[Jan. 29th, 2006|11:11 am] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  Dunno, I just like that face. | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | Traffic moving smoothly outside... | ] |
This past week had been quite enjoyable. Of course, any time away from high school is enjoyable. I slept, A LOT, and ate, A LOT. Also got to see people I enjoy seeing, which is always good fun.
But last night I found myself crying. Crying because of all the time I wasted. I already think that school is a waste of time for all those twelve years of one's life (if things were a little stricter, and important things actually taught and taught right, it may not be such a waste). But to sit on my ass watching TV for most of the day, well, that isn't any better.
So I have decided to change some things. I have several goals I have had and finally want to accomplish. We'll see how it goes:
-Read all the books on my reading list before college (this will be hard, because I have a lot of books, little free time, and many of them are long)
-Make my jacket (without a sewing machine...Have to learn to read and sew at the same time)
-Lose weight (or at least eat better and only when I am hungry, instead of eating to pass the time)
-Learn piano (I could have practiced all week, but did I? Of course not!)
-Hug my dad (I can hug my friends, but not my family members...Quite odd and I need to work on that)
Yeah...That's a lot, so I'll start with that.
And I am such a slacker. Senioritis is killing me. That or I just hate my physics teacher's assignments. Have to write about a question she made up from some movie with Stephen Hawking. That's fine. It's the fact that she wants a non-electronic source that I hate. Ugh...
Well that's all. Wish me luck on my goals. |
|
|
| A good day. |
[Jan. 25th, 2006|08:41 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  Good Stuff! | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | TV | ] |
I feel like this week is going to be a really go week. One of the best. Yesterday I just slept and hung out, and decided to get started on making my jacket. I got my godmother's sewing machine, and I think I could get a lot of it done this week. I had to make my mom ask to borrow the machine, since my godmother doesn't think I can make the jacket without a pattern. Probably true, but when she challenged me, it made me even more determined to do it without help. I tend to be good with visualizing something and then putting it down, especially if I have had time to really think about it and make it better.
Today I went to Smith with a friend (who got in on Early Decision and found that out today), and met the softball coach and walked around the campus. It was fun. I am really looking at it as a choice if I am accepted. I also need to have Marx re-send a ton of recommendations to several schools, since they didn't seem to get it.
Tomorrow, I get to take my US History Regents. Retarded. But afterward, I get to hang out with friends so we can bitch about how we shouldn't have to get up that early and waste three hours of our lives. Then I get to watch movies with Addie, which will be lots and lots of fun.
Then Friday, I get to go to the batting cages. That will be fun. I miss hitting.
It will be a good week! |
|
|
| Can we say heaven?! I think so! |
[Jan. 23rd, 2006|05:47 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| | YAY! | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | In real life: TV; In my head: Just Like Heaven - The Cure | ] |
Today was the first and last day of school this week. The rest of the week is Regents week, which means you only go in if you have a stat test. I have one on Thursday, the stupid US History one. I will get above a 95. I doubted it before, but now I am sure. I still don't care though.
So hopefully I will just read and finish Jane Eyre. It is quite good, though horribly predictable. Highly recommended. And do a retarded physics assignment. I also have to design tattoos for people. I have been commissioned by a few people. And I have a lot to do.
We watched a movie about Stephen Hawking. I feel bad for the guy, but that voice synthesizer is pretty funny. I like physics. So much I didn't go to Physics Lab. Jen and I sat in the girls' locker room and told jokes, quoted Eddie Izzard, and read each others essays. Much better than physics.
So four days off and then a three day weekend (no school next Monday).
Just like Heaven! |
|
|
| Fuck... |
[Jan. 10th, 2006|10:31 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| | PISSED THE FUCK OFF! | ] |
| [ | Background Noise |
| | Nada | ] |
Fuck US History. Fuck US History hard in the ass with a chain saw...
I hate that subject. I can't believe I took AP US History. Only for the fleeting hope of getting a 4 on the test and never having to see it again in my life.
Now there is the US History Regents in my school. It covers all of US History, right up to Clinton. Guess what! The AP class hasn't even started the Depression. So I have to write 5 essays in two weeks. Each essay says choose three out a given number. My teacher is making us do the given number. I thought I knew more about it, but I don't. We took a diagnostic yesterday to see what we knew. I got a 74. Everyone else did horribly too. My teacher is demanding a 95 from all of us. BULLSHIT!
US HISTORY IS THE WORST, MOST BORING, MOST DISGUSTING CLASS IN MY SCHOOL. I ACTUALLY THINK I WOULD PREFER AP CALCULUS. And that's nuts...
I don't give a flaming rat's ass what I get on the Regents. Regents don't mean shit. They make the state think it has standards. Standards so high that when everyone fails a test, they curve it. They say the test it too hard, not that the teachers may suck or the students don't give a shit anymore about what they are "learning."
Because of this I am punished. I have to miss softball. I don't want to miss softball. I hate all history in general, but US History sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before....
That felt good. BUT I AM STILL PISSED.
GGGGRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! I am going to find a Regents and set it on fire.... |
|
|
| Meh meh... |
[Jan. 8th, 2006|07:23 pm] |
This was a pretty chill week and weekend. I had very little homework all week, which was good since softball has started again. I have been horribly sore from the stairs and the weights, and etc....
I am applying for a scholarship that involves literature. You can do poetry (write a poem and record yourself reciting it), fiction/drama (write a story), or a personal essay/memoir (write about you). I really want to do the fiction, but I have no idea where to start. I want to title it after a girl I overheard talking about her New Year, and at 12:01 she "did a fat line of coke and a bottle of champagne." I doubt I could get anywhere with that, but I find inspiration in odd places.
I will probably end up doing the personal essay. I can always write an essay.
We'll see. Need to do some rough drafts or something.
Looking forward to this month. Three day weekend next weekend, week after that there is no school, and that weekend is a three day weekend as well. Sweet!
Dunno what else to say. For a New Yorker, I have a very boring life.
Later. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
fliggy_30's journal